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number one{ Letters i'll never send. }
I need you more than ever, but you don't need me. You've got every other girl in the world waiting for you to notice them. Why would you spend time on me? I'm insecure, clingy, sarcastic, blunt, and talk too much.

But I can also be sweet, I'll attempt to cook whatever you want, I'll watch your favorite tv shows even if I hate them. I'll try to make you laugh whenever you're down, I'll wipe your tears away. I'll be someone you can hold onto when everything is falling apart, and I promise... I will never leave unless you want me to.

I just need a chance.

new york, take me back{ i had a dream that i could fly from the highest swing. }

I miss the city. I miss how everyone could be rushing around you, yet everything seemed so peaceful. I miss how you could be anyone in a city where no one know's your name. I miss how you could make mistakes and no one would seem to care. The new faces you see everyday, the same faces that never get old. The people twisting around each other to get to work. The swish of cars zooming by, people yelling at their friends across the street.

I miss it all.

i'm scared{ Coffee stains on your favorite book }

a. The city lights shine brightly,
they knock the breath out of your lungs.
Eyes shining and hair floating over
your shoulders, you stand there.
Taking it all in.

b. Talking on the phone until two in the morning,
just because you miss his kisses on your forehead
and the way he brushed your hair behind your ear.

c. Strangers waving hello in a city
where no one knows your name.
Coffee spilled on your bright pink dress,
but you didn't clean it off because it it
"gave your dress character".

d. All the things you do that make you, you.
And I don't want you to change, ever.

{ Remind me of you

thats what we do for love.i. soft kisses on noses,
running to catch your train,
shouted 'goodbyes' and half waves.

ii. missed phone calls,
nights spent alone,
pillows covered in tears.

iii. crumpled letters
that are thrown at the wall,
pictures torn,
numbers erased.

iv. memories remembered,
tears shed,
screams of anger heard.

v. silence.

three vs one{ .o12 Insanity }

"No, don't eat that. It has too many calories."

"I told you not to eat it. You know what you have to do to get rid of it…"

"Don't listen to her. You've already messed up, I say you should say "fuck it" and finish the rest of them."

"Do not listen to either of them. You will do better tomorrow, I believe in you."

"Shut up, you know she can't do it. She's a screw up - always has been…"

"Always will be."

I can't do this anymore. It's like theres four of me - the two evils, one angel and the one who has to choose.

saying goodbye.{ .oo6 Break Away }
She's 15 months old and walking.

She's seven and making friends in first grade.

She's eleven and starting to notice boys.

She's thirteen and acting out.

She's fifteen and wants to go to Homecoming.

She's sixteen and driving away with her friends.

She's seventeen and going to Prom.

She's eighteen and moving out, waving as she drives off.

She's twenty-two and has her own child now.

She's twenty-nine and hasn't spoken to us since Christmas - it's now June.

She's thirty-five and is busy with her job, the three kids and going back to college.

She's forty and the only time we get contact with her is on birthdays and

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i've missed you, snow.by =vulnerate

Photography / Street

_{Took the day off of school to visit Kent & Akron. We wanted to get the tours done soon (before the snow starts) and of course it would be the first snow day of the season, haha. I saw six accidents on the way over (I was asleep half the time, though), it was pretty bad out.

Kent was fantastic. It wasn’t too cold out, but pretty windy. Our tour guide was nice, I definitely am going to apply to Kent next year. The campus was gorgeous, the rooms were really nice (and definitely bigger than all the other schools I’ve looked at). We all talked about the honors things and I’ve got pretty much everything down, but I need to get my ACT score back. I know I did horrible and will have to retake it, but I’m also going to take the SAT in January just for good measure.

Akron, we didn’t even stay for the tour. It was way too cold and my leg was hurting again (I hurt it awhile back and every now and then it flares up and hurts badly), so we just left and went home. I also wasn’t crazy about the campus, it was Toledo all over again, haha. I doubt I’ll be applying there at all.}

~OttermanJesse Nov 30, 2011 Student General Artist

I miss the snow so much you lucky duck :/

=vulnerate Nov 30, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

_{It only snowed for like, an hour tops, but I was SOO happy to see it! c: I can share some with you, I'll put it in a big bottle and break it over your house.}

~OttermanJesse Nov 30, 2011 Student General Artist

for a minute there, I miss read it thinking you wanted to break it over my head :3
how are you Jen Jen? I havnt been able to catch you at the right time for ages!

=vulnerate Nov 30, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

_{Haha! No, never! c:
I've been pretty good, except I just hurt my leg really badly from running. Guess that's what I get for trying to be healthy and exercise. :') How about you, how have you been?}

~OttermanJesse Nov 30, 2011 Student General Artist

I hurt my ankle from running, no kidding! hahaha I hope I have told you about how my now ex is dumb and bloodsucking and basically led me on hahaha she is so dumb

, I just turned 18 not too long ago and college stuff is right at the bridge im crossing, exciting!

I miss talking to you often did you get a new number? or do I just text at really bad times? lol

=vulnerate Nov 30, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

_{Wooow, we're like... injury twins! That's something everyone strives to be with someone else, right? Or is that just in my strange town... ;~;
Oh, wow, I'm sorry! Girls suck. : ) Or maybe just relationships in general, they're way too much work imo. College is so SCARY! I'm excited for it, but I also don't want to leave home. What places are you looking at / anything out of state or just in state? c:
I have the same number, I just have horrible service. Half of the time my messages don't get sent out, the other half messages don't get sent to me. It's unfortunate, but I suppose it is better than nothing! So if I don't reply, don't take it personally. : ) I try to always reply but if I don't it didn't go through / I'm super swamped with ap and activities. Usually it's the former, though.}

~OttermanJesse Nov 30, 2011 Student General Artist

I wanted to leave state but I'm starting to lean back, I never take it personally, can you tell I'm being typing lazy? the relationship wasn't bad I had fun, glad I could have the experience didn't get me worked up lol and anywhere with art would be best for me at this point although... a maritime academy in my state(the best in the world) it has to do with the ocean btw would be awesome but it's so difficult to get into. and it's so admirable to me how you chose ap ^^

=vulnerate Nov 30, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

_{Yeah, I've been thinking about a few out of state colleges, but I think I want to stay closer to home my first two years or something. Oh, cool, so would you be majoring in something related to art then?
And thanks, they're definitely a bit harder (except for ap euro which is a breeze), but so worth it since they bump my gpa up!}

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